Finding my destiny……..

Hello. hahah, recently I feel like I just want to delete this blog because I feel that nobody was going to read it anymore but I hold back my thought because I am actually somebody who loves to see my writings be published, be it in websites or newspaper or magazine or anything. I don’t care if my ramblings is crap or anything, as long as there is one or two person that will reads my ramblings, it is more than enough for me. Actually I think the reason that people didn’t like to read my blog is maybe it’s too draggy and I wrote it as long as a novel. But I can’t help it because I love to pour out everything I feel. Even if there’s nobody reading it, I still feel satisfied because it’s like the place for me to express myself.

Recently, I have been thinking about my dreams. Things that I dream to do in my life. Actually, what did I really want to do in my life? Have you ever thought like this? I observe that nowadays people does not care about their dream anymore. As compared to the time when we are still kids and when people ask us about our dream, we will say that we want to be doctor, stewardess, singer, this and that. But when we grow up, all of that vanished and what we only think was to find a job that will give us big salary, big house and big cars. Deep in my heart, I did not agree with this situation but what can I do in this materialistic so-called modern world? But after I think about it again, it is really hard actually to reach your dream in this sadistic and cruel reality. You can fantasize about your dream as much as you want but when you are back to reality, there’s nothing you can actually do to realize it.

My dream, when I was still small was to become a stewardess. I’m longing to be a stewardess because I really admire going to other countries to see how they live and their condition. It is not that I did not like Malaysia, but I actually have this weird passion to travel. I love travelling to other places. REALLY seriously passionate about it. Whether I’m going alone or with somebody, it doesn’t matter as long as I am travelling everywhere in the world. So, I thought the only way for me to reach my dream that is travelling around the world is to become a stewardess. But, back to reality, I don’t think I will ever be accepted at all. I have enough qualification, but I don’t have the looks or put it simply, I’m ugly. Stewardess are usually so beautiful and graceful so I don’t think they will accept me. I heard that nowadays, employees usually will look at the picture in your resume first before calling you so this is a proof that it will be getting harder for me to get a job in this modern world let alone to reach my dreams. I don’t know if it’s my fate to grow up looking like this or maybe I’m just too lazy too change myself. But changing outer appearance needs money and I don’t want to burden my parents or anybody else so I guess I will succumb to reality just like everybody else did that is finding ordinary job that can provide me money, cars or house. Reality is painful, but it is something that you have to live through. As for me, even though I know it is possible for me to reach my dream, but it will stay true in my heart as long my life goes.